Posts Tagged ‘etiquette’

Where NOT to Skimp: Key Wedding Elements

wedding rings

3 Wedding Things You Don’t Want to Skimp On

(Me:) What?  Only three things?  So unfair: I’m a wedding planner! – we know that EVERYTHING is important!   But, if you insist… I suppose I could narrow a few dozen things down to a few key elements.   And, it would take barely a breath for me me to rattle off a list; however, I’d prefer to share some ideas and experiences instead – because as we like to say: no two weddings are alike.

DIY wedding flowers

As founder and primary planner for my company, I have experienced hundreds of weddings and worked with such a wide array of couples that it’s difficult to even cast a client profile.   Nonetheless, I have noticed a few commonalities that I can share:

DIY Wedding (Type 1): Couples who have a very strict or tight budget need to watch expenses and will certainly benefit from help of a planner to advise them early on.  Of course you can save money by doing some things yourself, just be realistic about what is possible and what will send you over-the-edge.  I encourage these couples to invest in a seasoned planner / coordinator that can advise them and assist them the day of the wedding.  Don’t skimp on the venue, because food and built-in amenities (linens, interior space for contingency, staff, etc.) have tremendous value, and can make or break the entire day.  Don’t skimp on the photography because things such as limited hours (partial coverage), inexperience – which often times translates into timing issues on the wedding day, and inadequate or poor quality images & editing are not worth the expense.  Summary: Hire a planner to help you and for advice making wise budget decisions; secure a good venue to accommodate your guests comfortably and provide most necessities; hire the best qualified photographer you can afford.

An investment in experience is far wiser than savings gambled on inexperience.

Young & Fabulous (Type 2): Couples who enjoy the luxury of a larger budget have countless options and rarely skimp on anything.  They are able to plan an event with all the trimmings – spectacular décor, an amazing venue, the elaborate wedding cake, etc. However, even these couples eventually reach a point where they need to rein in costs.  For them, my advice is:  Be the best hosts you can be.  Don’t skimp on your bridal party – offer to pay for their accommodations, hair and make-up, and offset the costs of their attire.   Don’t skimp in any area that jeopardizes your guests’ comfort – anticipate their experience and make sure they are not too hot or too cold, or too far from one place to another.  Lastly, don’t skimp on taking care of your vendors – that’s an investment that will pay off in spades!   Summary:  If you have the money, invest it throughout.  The level of style and grace should be perfectly matched, and result in a great experience for all.    second wedding-beach wedding

Second Weddings and Blended Families (Type 3):  Almost without exception our second wedding clients are at least in their mid-thirties and beyond.  They are less inclined to host over-the-top events, or invest a lot in décor, and the guest lists tend to be less than one hundred.  Their priorities often center on quality, and we encourage them to splurge on Food and Beverage, Photography and/or Videography, Entertainment (wanting guests of all ages to have fun).   Summary: Set the tone for the wedding with a less traditional venue where guests can enjoy quality time and a lovely meal together; hire a great photographer to capture all the fun and memories; add an interactive element or unique entertainment to keep everyone amused and in the moment.

(c) 2012 E. Delgardio

It’s Only A Wedding, Sit Anywhere

There are 127 seats – just pick one.  Really.  We’re cool like that, so when you come to our wedding sit anywhere.  Except at the Reserved tables.

When you invite people to an event, do them a favor and tell them where to sit.  They want to know.   After all, you are the host (hostess) and they are expecting to take direction from you.  They don’t want to make decisions and run for tables like seats on a bus. (Hey Barb – save me a seat!)

I often hear “We went to a wedding (party) and they didn’t have assigned seats and I thought it was great”.  Ok.  And some people like eating with their fingers, but that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate in all settings or at all times.

“. Large receptions, over 30 people, can be chaotic if there is no assigned seating. Often couples elect not to assign seating because they don’t want to offend anyone who ends up seated in the back. But, honestly, guests feel more comfortable when they know where to sit. They won’t have to battle for a “good seat” or argue over who sits by whom. Etiquette and courtesy dictates that parents of the bride and groom and elderly family members or friends should be seated in the front. Do the best you can to seat families or groups together. You won’t be able to please everyone, but don’t sweat it. Most people won’t stay in their seats for long anyway.”   Source:

We have a saying in the business:  Asses in seats.  It’s the way things are done.  Leaving people to sit anywhere is like saying you don’t care where they sit.  And Reserved cards at tables don’t cut it.  If you really want to offend someone, tell them they can’t sit at the tables reserved for…. Umm…. who exactly are they reserved for?  (Personally, I’m never quite sure since it doesn’t say anything more than “Reserved”)

reserved sign

Creating a seating plan doesn’t need to become a major ordeal.  There are resources available to assist with this task, such as  Perfect Table Plan.   Also, sites like and  have helpful (free!) tools for seating charts and table layouts.  If you don’t want to mess with creating placecards, contact our friends at

“Twedding Tweetiquette”

Just for fun…

Because I am a Twitter fanatic, I had to share this gem of an article!

Tweet My Wedding? The Dos and Don’ts of “Twedding Tweetiquette” by Juliette Powell, Huffington Post:

Of the six weddings I was invited to this summer, four weren’t just weddings. They turned out to be what I have begun to think of as “the twedding.”

You know you’re at a “twedding” when:

1. Your wedding invitations were sent via the micro-blogging site
2. All aspects of your big day have been vetted by your twitter followers who suggest everything from wedding guests to wedding vendors.
3. Members of the wedding party take “candid” photographs and videos of the ceremony and upload them directly to twitpic and twitvid for community commenting.
4. Your wedding becomes a trending topic on Twitter.
5. The groom tweets “I’m married” before kissing the bride. 

Read the full article “Tweet My Wedding? The Dos and Don’ts of Twedding Tweetiquette”  by Juliette Powell of the Huffington Post ….


08 2009